Thursday, August 7, 2008

Rain,As i See It.

Hey guys, this is gagan from 2nd year.
I've tried to put my imagination into words.The best way you can enjoy the following is trying to put my words into your imagination.

“YAWN!” ,there went the mildly soothing sound of my day’s start. The yawn goes on like a completely differentiable curve.

I would certainly love to meet a person who’s yawn is “non differentiable”, so to speak. There you go, that’s the perfect start to my day which If I m not forced to wake up begins at noon. I slowly began to rise from my slumber, stretching my arms as if a call to my physical empowerments to start performing some functions. My legs responded shakily when I tried to rise from my bed. They were successful in the end but I grabbed onto the handle of my door. It wasn’t much of a faithful support to be honest. Ever since the termites attacked the poor thing, It seems rather literally that it ll be dusted sooner than later.

So I grabbed open the door and walked through to the verandah. It’s like a small enclosure surrounded by tall walls whose edges have started to become green with algae. This was typical of any wall in an Indian Monsoon. The gleam of the plastered layer of bricks was now all but engulfed by rough green plant- like microorganisms. The wall had come a long way from last Diwali when everybody hurried around it to give it some royal treatment. Monsoon was certainly dark ages for them. They had to be patient to see the happiness once again and I guess that’s what made them really survive the tempests’ onslaught.

I sat in my verandah to grasp some fresh air. It seemed like God knew my Plan. He suddenly let up a whiff of air through my verandah and livened up my senses. “Ahhhhh….” , you could feel like you’re in heaven right there and then. Yes, the smell of fresh air is a treat. It is something which is rather quite unexplainable. Before I could get up and start with my daily routine, I was at once stopped by something quite small. I had a huge line up of things to get done. All the notes stuck up to my monitor prove to be more than a reminder of my day’s work. But that small thing stopped me before I could do that.

A small, oval shaped thing. A thing without which I cannot survive. That tiny thing that when combined covers most of the spaces known to man. Yes, that sparkling drop of water that fell right onto my forehead. What magic does gravity do! , I wondered.Yes,it was just a drop of water but it surely had me in its control. I looked up in the sky. It was covered with so many shades of grey. It was certainly not the usual blue one is used to seeing every day. The clouds gathered up against each other as if they were fighting a war. Lightening can surely be called a very catastrophic weapon. Those grey colored mush fought for their survival. They did not want to be swallowed by other similar beings. While they fought their battle,us earthlings can only think about anything but our half of the story. Henceforth, I could hear people running amock shouting, “Baarish aa gayee”, or “Jaldi se kapde utaaro, BAARISH!”.

Amidst the clatter I stood still. To put it simply, I like rain. It’s the serene, cooling nature that holds you there.I gazed up again. If any of you have tried to do that, you would realize how difficult it is. The drops rushing towards you fall down across the view. The drops feel like mini-bombs dropping every millisecond. One of such bombs was making its way down towards the ground with ever increasing speeds while it met with an accident. It was my face of course. All the momentum suddenly passed onto my skin. The long slender drop suddenly coming to a splattering end. It touched my pale brown covering and although was not able to jump, came back to spread and then slipped back onto my neck. The drop like a battalion of soldiers stays cohesive for as long as possible but the uneven contours of my neck made it give way to its wishes. Unacceptably, it was made to part into further tiny droplets which slipped down from my neck to vanish into my checkered blue shirt. They had left a watery trail, a rivulet which existed for few seconds. Hundreds of such drops made their across my neck and maintained a continuity, renewing the rivulets with vigor.

The drops falling on my forehead would fall and come to a standstill. They never had the chance to meet the ground. It’s the disappearing act of the drops later which amazes me most. They fall; they wet the face and then vanish. It’s like even God send them for a purpose and once they have accomplished their task, they exist no more. What loyalty! Only if humans were to learn from drops, I secretly wished.

Rain had been true to the cautions of the meteorological department. The newspaper read “Clouds and thunder. Light showers predicted.” The gentle breeze picked up again. My mom has a strange tendency to rebuke me when I am about to end my time wasting techniques as she put’s it. Just as I was coming back from the heavenly abode of breeze and showers, she came running out to pull me inside. “You will fall sick! You never listen to me, Do You?” That’s when Ithought that a new day had begun…………


mayank said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mayank said...

i am not licensed to criticise so as to say :) but this was too tempting...Haven't read such striking imagery in a while...words mingle like colours from an artist's pallette at times...The attention given to detail is outstanding, though slightly stretched at places..ending is almost perfect

'earthlings can only think of their half of the story'....:)

well done and keep improving

Mistura said...

hey there gagan.. was having a talk with piyush in general and he said, that when he reads a thing, either he likes it or not. and i totally agreed with him.

i loved your piece.

and that coming from me is high praise.kidding.

so the deal is that i have to be a little harsh on you so that you know how to churn out even better pieces in the future.

the imagery that your words conjure is very vivid as you describe things patiently, giving attention to the minutest detail which makes the reader stop and actually feel and hence connect with ur piece.
just make it more crisp. it seems a little bit cluttered with some parts which you can do away with and which are actually breaking ur flow a lil bit. trim those and u have a masterpiece.

and also the last line of you piece somehow doesnt seem to fit. try to improve upon the end. use sm more of ur innovation over there. an ending shud be as impresive or even more impressive than the start.
good work.. wish to see more of it.

oblique-skeptic said...

Gagan, m'man...brilliant stuff..the piece starts off very differently, runs into a slurry of thoughts, but kinda ends a bit too abruptly i presume, nevertheless, all throughout carrying a very colorful, descriptive of all that is felt, seen or heard..there are no morals to be derived from this kind of a piece, and it basically hovers around anything and everything that a particular person might encounter on the way from his bedroom to the verandah and then getting drenched. The minute detail encompassed is simply awesome, i loved the part where you go about comparing raindrops to batallions, and also the bit where raindrops are mentioned to be loyal to God and the same is questioned of us humans. Its these small hints of ulterior thinking, reflected in the passage which give out a great deal about the writer.

Two words Gagan - Great Job :)

m y s t i c said...

thanks alot guys, reading all that made my day :D
I will surely look into the points u all raised and aim for what my name stands for :P