Tuesday, April 28, 2009

In search of....

It was dark, very dark. The cold wind blowing chilled me to the nerve. I was in a terrible predicament, for, it was freezing out there and I had nothing to cover myself up. I had started turning blue, partially because of the appalling surroundings but mostly because of cold. Though despondent, I was running, running in the sheer darkness in search of some shelter, something which could save me from the cold. I didn’t know where I was heading, for I could see nothing…..all I could do was feel…. running through the crooked path and into utter darkness, I felt something…it seemed warm. At once, I plunged in there. It was a bit cozy inside, but was not big enough to fit in the whole of me. Crouched, I stayed in there...Until I started to stifle. I had to get out of it…. I tried hard, pulled myself, twisted and turned...And finally, I was out. I had a palpable sense of relief, which for once, made me forget about the frost….I was more than content on being liberated….but I couldn’t stay there for long. It was growing colder. Searching for shelter I rammed into several things…it did hurt, but I had to take my lumps. By then I had become antipathetic to that place. A long toil left me bushed… I could run no more…not even take a stride but still, slowly, stealthily and furtively, I kept on treading…..and suddenly, I felt something…it was big..big enough to wrap the whole of me….I started looking for a place to get in…it was cumbersome and tedious, but I managed to get in there. Inside it was even more murky, but not precarious. I felt safe and secure. It was just the right place for me…. Alas! I had found my redeemer…. Alas! I had found the glove!!!

3 comments:

Ko said...

!
the narrative is good, but inconsistent. i mean, i had to jump in order to keep up. i was freezing and i was despondent but i was running, which should ideally make me warm? :-?
"..but I couldn’t stay there for long. It was growing colder.Searching for shelter I rammed into several things…it did hurt, but I had to take my lumps. "
'stay there' seemed to imply the warm place, but it confused me yet again cos ur talking about 'growing colder'. i don't know what you meant by 'my lumps'!

sorry for lambasting you! please be a little less careless with your writing :) maybe you can read it again with a critical eye and make it easier to understand for us?

Ko said...

read/edit*

Avantika said...

thanx for ur comment...
this piece was supposed to describe a hand in search of a glove..and the places where it feels stifled and had to twist.. etc were supposed to be the pockets,though, i was not able to make the idea clear enough!! since i am talking about a hand, in this case..though running in a way( just to describe the dire situation it was in..the cold weather outside),it would certainly not make it warm enough.'stay there' to actually find a glove which would be the permanent solution to its problem.'take my lumps' would imply accept all the wrong that's happening to me without complaining..there is no use of complaining when you have to do something by urself and waste ur time.
i probably am unable explain the idea again,maybe, my not writing much has lead to this confusion..but thanx a lot for being a critic and help me improve in a positive way:)