Statutory Warning: The views expressed in this article may
be unsuitable for the holier-than-thou, self righteous people with low self
esteem, no sense of humour or irrational religious beliefs. Also if you are a
10 pointer, this article is not for you. It may be relevant for some low level
backlog chap but since you are above all that, why don’t you go to library and
borrow some books, a**hole (you know the word)
Of all the violinists considered smart, Einstein was the
silliest. For his obsession with relativity had such a profound trickle down
effect on our policy makers that they decided to stuff relativity in every possible
way they can in our education system, thus turning a perfectly functional,
cordial classroom into a $#!thole of cynicism, an every man for himself (or,
for that hot girl sitting ahead ) zone. But then, who am I kidding. Hot girls
and engineering almost seem like an oxymoron (Being in an oestrogen starved
branch makes matters worse). On seconds thoughts, ranting on about hot girls,
or rather the lack of them, in a technical college has become such a cliché and
since there will always be those thick headed, android 2.1 using orthodox who
just can’t suppress their urge to employ a cliché, so I happily leave that topic
to them. Soon after falling in this deep sinkhole of higher studies, I
uncovered some pretty depressing facts about my beloved college and all of
those problems had something to do, in one way or the other, with this concept
of relativity which those nonchalant policy makers have such inhumanly embodied
in our curriculum (again, screw you Einstein!).If those incompetent old clowns
can’t do it to their wives, they do it to their country. And yet, are still
voted back to power because of idiots like you (yes, you!). And our college
complements that by putting up an atrocious attendance system and by keeping an
obscure curriculum, with that redundant train engine and helicopter being an
apt symbolism of this obscurity. Legend has it that the Air Force helicopter
once landed for a minor repair work and it couldn't fly back. Ever again. True
story!
Now, allow me to commit sacrilege on the 10 commandments of
our sacred CGPA system in which you get an opportunity to
get screwed with your pants on, by a bunch of no life 10 and 9 pointers over
and over and over and over and over again (sounds cruel? well, it is). But a
few 9 pointers might come in handy for copying assignments from. And the most
intelligent decision taken by the authorities (and perhaps the only) is to let
4 photocopy shops open in the PEC market so that the time wasted in
photocopying assignments can be considerably reduced. And boy, how much I love
assignment deadlines! I almost have a fetish for the jet like sound they make
as they fly by. But if you are a 9 pointer (and most likely you are not), then
after some time of good intention-ed assignment sharing, you start feeling like
an open source software (a prostitute everyone uses but no one pays).
And speaking of grades, getting wasted the night before
exams just because of an inconsequential binge dare won’t help your case
either. But ‘Dare’ is the one word that makes the ego levels reach the zenith
and makes you drink like a fish and smoke like a chimney. ‘No, I am a pussy’ should be your reply
because the prospects of a possible one more year of going through that same
hell (i.e. year back) don’t seem too appealing. Besides, smoking kills. And if
you’re killed, you have lost a very important part of your life. But I know for
sure people will continue doing that and the legacy will go on, even though it
may seem nonsensical in hindsight. Because, perhaps, making sense is too
mainstream (note to self: stop using clichés, you moron!). That one guy defying
the mass cut, that one girl submitting assignments on time, it’s because of
teacher’s pets like you (again, you!) that the entire class suffers for four
consecutive years. If only we could remain unite. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or rare gemstone. You are
the same decaying organic matter as everything else. So let us shun our
differences and stop fighting over petty issues such as grades and placements.
Let’s be united for once and make this world a happier place. Or maybe, smoke
weed, get high and give the same number of #*%&s as the number of d**ks in
Justin Bieber's pants. Amen.
Written by Rishi Rohan
2nd Year
Mechanical Engineering
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