The Beginning of Terror

I lost a lot and then some more
There was nothing I could lose anymore
I stopped to care
I stopped to stare
I stopped
Everything was a shade of grey
Nothing but a shade of grey
Looked like a”tide” had swept everything away
I didn’t know what to do
Should I stay and play
Or laugh my sorrow away
Sorrow for losing something I never had
Or something I could but was too lazy to work hard
I don’t know n never might
As I lazed in the moonless night
No aim. No pain to break me apart
No fear. Just the Numbness in my heart
Life was not so simple I realised
I have erred and there had to be redemption
I had been an emotional fool
Poured my heart to anyone who cared
What did I know it was a mere social obligation?
To suffer once is to condemn oneself to an eternity of suffering
A vicious circle, of pain and remorse
Now others must pay, for it is their turn
I have paid my dues and so must they
Pay for what they have transformed me into
The payment shall be made
Wait, wait and wait......
The time is never right.